Perform this way ("Weird Al" Yankovic)

This is a weird parody of the song "Born This Way" by weird singer Lady Gaga. Ain't it really weird? Where the hell does he hide th... well, you know.

Mind you, this man here is no tranny or anything, he's just a normal man (well, let's say "normal"?), married, with children and all that, who happens to be a comedian. So, once again, where does he...?

My mama told me when I was hatched
Act like a superstar
Save your allowance, buy a bubble dress
And someday you will go far
Now on red carpets, well, I'm hard to miss
The press follows everywhere I go
I'll poke your eye out with a dress like this
Back off and enjoy the show!

I'm sure my critics will say it's a grotesque display
Well, they can bite me, baby -- I perform this way
I might be wearin' Swiss cheese or maybe covered with bees
It doesn't mean I'm crazy -- I perform this way

Ooo, my little monsters pay lots 'cause I perform this way
Baby, I perform this way
Ooo, don't worry, I'm okay, hey, I just perform this way
I'm not crazy, I perform this way

I'll be a troll or evil queen
I'll be a human jelly bean
'Cause every day is Halloween
For me...

I'm so completely original
My new look is all the rage
I'll wrap my small intestines 'round my neck
And set fire to myself on stage
I'll wear a porcupine on my head
On a W-H-I-M
And for no reason now I'll sing in French
Excusez-moi, Qui a pété?
(express yourself)

Got my straight jacket today, it's made of gold lamé
No, not because I'm crazy - I perform this way
I strap prime rib to my feet, cover myself with raw meat
I'll bet you've never seen a skirt steak worn this way

Don't be offended when you see
My latest pop monstrosity
I'm strange, weird, shocking, odd, bizarre
I'm Frankenstein, I'm Avatar
There's nothing too embarrassing
I'll honestly do anything
But wear white after Labor Day
'Cause baby, I perform this way

Hope you won't think it's cliché if I go nude today
Don't call the cops now, baby, I perform this way
No reason I should regret all the attention I get
I'm not completely crazy, I perform this way, yeah

I perform this way-hey, I perform this way-hey
I'm always deviating from the norm this way-hey
I perform this way-hey, I perform this way-hey
I'm really not insane -- I just perform this way-hey

HATCHED= When an egg hatches, the ckick breakes the egg and comes out.

ALLOWANCE= The money they give you for your little expenses when you're a kid.

YOU WILL GO FAR= You will succeed, you'll be important... or you if you don't, you can go far by walking more than one kilometre or driving more than 300 kms. You can also go too far when you drive 200 kms and then you can't be home in time for dinner. Or you can go too far if you try to burn the Capitol building to protest against a most unfair parking fine you got this morning.

I'M HARD TO MISS= It's impossible not to see me.
Also, it's very difficult to divorce me, because I'm Miss Gaga and if I marry and become Mrs Gaga there's no way you're going to leave, so I'm very hard to become Miss Gaga again because I want to remain Mrs Gaga, so I'm hard to Miss. He he he. WTF!!

THE PRESS= Newspapers, journalists, reporters and the like.

I'LL POKE YOUR EYE OUT= I'll take an eye out of your face by introducing my finger or any other pointed object, for example my nose. Well, maybe something thinner than my nose (I never really tried so I don't know)

BACK OFF= Go back and stay out of my way.

MY CRITICS= People who criticize me and say bad things about me.

GROTESQUE= Weird, extravagant.

BITE ME= Shut up. Back off. Get the hell out of here. Go to hell.

LOTS= A lot (of money).

THE RAGE= The last fashion.

ON A W-H-I-M= If you do something on a whim, you suddenly decide to do it for no reason, just because you feel like doing it. Yes, Miss Gaga is a whimsical lady indeed (in case you didn't notice). I'm a little bit whimsical too sometimes, but nobody pays me for that, that's the difference.

QUI A PÉTÉ= (French) Who farted?
Oh my god, ain't it rude!

STRAIGHT JACKET= A special jacket crazy people used to wear in lunatic asylums (mental hospitals) with the sleeves tight on the back so they couldn't use their hands.

LAMÉ= A fabric made with threads of gold or silver.

STRAP= Fix with strings.

PRIME= Best quality.

RIB= Meat from the sides of an animal.

RAW MEAT= Meat not cooked.

BIZARRE= Strange, weird.

THE COPS= (coll.) Police.

DEVIATING= If you deviate from the norm, you are different (often in an offensive or alarming way)

INSANE= Crazy.

Don't know about this song, but so many parodies about Lady Gaga going round out there surely means something: Miss Gaga is a real FREAK!

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