- Hey, hey, what are you doing, huh? Hey, you, get off my driveway.
- Ok, ok, here's an idea. Fading on a small town, ok? Everyone is uneasy. Rumour has it there's a goblin in the woods.
- What?
- A goblin.
- Come on, Jack.
- A crazy goblin.
- No. F*** no.
- C'mon, hear me out.
- A goblin?
- Not just a goblin, an insane f***d up globlin.
- Put the camera down. Give me that.
- Look, what is a goblin?
- I don't know, who cares?
- It's like a... kind of troll or something. They're not even scary.
- No, this is a scary goblin. Not only is he a bad ass, but he does like kung-fu and he's got like this little psychic guy, they just escaped from a mental institution.
- Shut up, alright? Shut up. We're not using my camera to do a goblin movie.
- Whatever, man. Your camera sucks, anyway.
- Let's do- let's do a documentary.
- On who?
- I don't know, some poor looser off the street.
- Like who?
[bell rings]
- Aren't you gonna get that?
- Nah... it's just some kids trick-or-treating... What?... I don't have any candy.
- Why don't you give 'em a trick?
- Can I help you?
- Trick or treat?
- Ha ha ha. No. Seriously. Can I help you?
- Trick or treat?
- For God's sake. This guy?
- You know him?
- Hey, hey. Get off my porch. Off! Now!
- Whoa, whoa, whoa. Hang on, Dennis. This is just the guy we're looking for... OK... there... What is your name?
- Cliff.
- Ever been on camera before, Cliff?
- I don't know.
- Aren't you a little bit old to be trick-or-treating?... Hey, if you're trick-or-treating, where is your costume?
- I'm a ghost.
- Ha ha ha. Do you know what a goblin is?
- Yes.
- Would you like to see a goblin movie?
- No.
- What if the goblin does kung-fu?
- Schsst. I- I'm the director, I'll ask the questions.
- Why are you the director?
- Do you have any family, Cliff?
- No, I have nobody.
- Oh s***. Battery's dead.
- That's great.
- Let's uh... take a break.
- Hey, give me another piece of pepperoni.
- Look, you had enough already, right? So, uh... Cliff, where are you from?
- I was born here.
- In this town?
- No, in this house.
- What are you talking about?
- Come on, give me another slice.
- You shut up already?
- The pizza's getting cold, man.
- You've had four slices already. I- I had one, Cliff's... got one.
- Jesus, man, your breath stinks. Brush your teeth.
- Excuse me, Cliff. My friend is an asshole.
- You know, Cliff, I remember one time as a kid, I went fishing and I- I found this dead fish in the river bank, and I thought I'd bring it back to camp and pretend I caught it myself, so I flipped it over and it was, oh, it was disgusting, it was all rotten with maggots and fish guts. It really stunk.
- Why are you telling us this.
- Smelled just like your breath.
- Anyway, Cliff, you were saying you were born in this house?
- I was also killed in this house, in the bedroom. Halloween night.
- Who killed you?
- I killed myself... after I killed my mother.
- What are you talking about, man?
- My mother, she thought she was a real funny lady. Well, that night she said to me, "Cliff, you don't need a Halloween costume because you're so ugly you look like your neck threw up".
- Ha, ha, ha. Sorry.
- She thought that was funny too, until she was lying on her back with her mouth full of blood.
- Excuse us.
- Thank you for the pizza.
- Hey man, is everything alright?
- I think he's telling the truth, Jack.
- Ho ho ho, what do you mean?
- I mean I've seen his dead mother in this place.
- You really think he's a ghost?
- F*** that, I'm out.
- Trick or treat?
- Oh, oh God... Oh.
- Trick or treat?