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How to be the perfect girlfriend (Videojug)

Do you want to be the perfect girlfriend? Here's how to. Or you can check how to be the perfect boyfriend.

How To Be The Perfect Girlfriend
Hello and welcome to VideoJug.

Since man ran naked on the veldt, he’s changed very little. Sure he’s harnessed fire, built the pyramids and walked on the moon, but he’s still a caveman at heart, and his needs haven’t really changed for thousands of years: food, beer, women. But how is this compatible with your sophisticated modern life? It isn’t, but it can be. With just a few simple tips you can be the perfect girlfriend, which should make him want to be the perfect boyfriend.
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Step 1:
Relax your standards

The perfect girlfriend is not a plastic doll. While you should endeavour to maintain your femininity, once in a while let your guard down: eat like a pig, slouch around, or leave the washing up. You can even surprise him by be getting him to pull your finger. This way he will feel comfortable in your presence, and you in his.
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Step 2:
But make an effort

With this in mind, remember that it’s important to make an effort and sometimes dress up special. We know it's not practical all the time, but he'll appreciate it, and you'll feel more attractive.
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Step 3:
Massage his ego

Remember that the male ego is as fragile as it was all those years ago when he first lost his way back to the cave. Make your boyfriend feel good about himself - even if he is getting in your way- let him be useful and tell him he's great. Don't nag him into submission, as there is nothing sexy about a downtrodden man.
You know the bed's not made properly, but congratulate him on having a go. You know that isn't an omelette, but it contains eggs doesn't it? So well-done him!
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Step 4:
Feed him

Like it or not, the old adage is true - the way to a man's heart is through his stomach. You don't have to cook, but keep your local takeaway on speed dial. Remember if your boyfriend is hungry, his attention will shift suddenly from you to the fridge. Don't take it personally, it's primal. Symptoms of hunger to look out for include: grumpiness, slightly flared nostrils or he may appear to be hunting. If he gets like this, don't suggest salad.
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Step 5:
Give him space

A man's friends are important to him, and so is his ability to spend time with them, where he will do male activities like growling, fighting and measuring things, simple pursuits that confuse a complex female mind. Allow him the space to maintain these relationships. Let him roam, and when he comes home he'll be ready to spend quality time with you.
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Step 6:
Listen to him

Men enjoy explaining things. Be it the mechanics of bridges, why Sean Connery's the best Bond, or the complexities of the offside rule, even if he's being patronising you should allow him his airtime, and he will then shut up, leaving you to enjoy the peace and quiet of a loving and giving relationship.
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Step 7:
In the bedroom

When it comes to bedtime and matters of the night, your needs may be different. Sex is a simple matter for him: he wants it, whenever, wherever. Never put out if you aren't in the mood, but do accept that he always will be, and don't tell him off because he finds you devastatingly attractive all of the time. And if you really don't fancy it, just distract him with beer.

Have fun with your boyfriend.

VELDT= Any of the open grazing areas (for pasture) of Africa, especially southern Africa (a bit similar to savannah).

HARNESSED= Controlled, domesticated.

CAVEMAN= A prehistoric or primitive human living in caves.
HE’S STILL A CAVEMAN AT HEART= Deep inside he’s still a caveman. His true self, his essence, is still that of a caveman.

TIP= A quick short piece of advice.

1

RELAX YOUR STANDARDS= Be less demanding, don’t look for perfection.

ENDEAVOUR= To try to do something; to make an effort to get something.

MAINTAIN= Keep, continue with.

ONCE IN A WHILE= Every now and then. Sometimes.

LET YOUR GUARD DOWN= Relax.

EAT LIKE A PIG= Eat a lot and/or with no good manners.

SLOUCH (AROUND)= Sit, stand, or walk with an awkward, drooping, excessively relaxed posture.

LEAVE THE WASHING UP= Don’t do it.

2

WITH THIS IN MIND= Remembering what we just said. In addition to what we just said.

DESS UP= Dress elegant.

APPRECIATE= Like. Be thankful for.

3

MASSAGE HIS EGO= Make him feel important. "Ego" is pronounced /i:gəʊ/

FRAGILE= Delicate, easily broken. Pronounced /frædʒaɪl/

HE GETS IN YOUR WAY= He’s an obstacle for you; The opposite of "help".

NAG= To annoy by constant scolding, complaining, or urging. To nag somebody into doing something means to nag someone in order to force him to do it.

DOWNTRODDEN= Oppressed; tyrannized.

CONGRATULATE= Notice the preposition: you congratulate somebody ON doing something (because he did something).

HAVE A GO= Try.

WELL-DONE HIM= Tell him, "well done!". We use a phrase (well done) as a verb. This is possible in English, and sometimes happens, especially in colloquial English.

4

LIKE IT OR NOT= It doesn’t matter if you like it or if you don’t like it, nothing will change this.

ADAGE= Proverb.

A TAKEAWAY= A restaurant where you can order food and take it home or have it brought to your house, so that you can eat it at home.

ON SPEED DIAL= If you have something "on speed dial" you have its telephone number recorded on your telephone, so that you can quickly phone them
just by pressing a button.

SHIFT= Change from one thing to another; transfer.

PRIMAL= Being first in time; original; primeval; of first importance.

GRUMPINESS= Bad temper.

SLIGHTLY= Just a bit.

NOSTRILS= The two external openings of the nose.

FLARE= If your nostrils flare, the expand a bit.

5

GROWL=  To emit a low guttural sound or utterance. To speak in an angry or surly manner.

PURSUITS= Objectives.

ROAM= To move about without purpose or plan; wander.

6

SEAN= Notice that this name is pronounced /ʃɔ:n/

BOND= James Bond. This fictional detective has been played on movies by different actors, being Sean Connery the most famous one.

OFFSIDE= In football (soccer):  Illegally beyond the line of scrimmage when the ball is snapped or ahead of the ball when the ball is kicked on a kickoff.

PATRONISE= Treat condescendingly (as if the other person is less important or less intelligent).

AIRTIME= The time at which a radio or television program is broadcast. (His little moment of glory).

7

WHENEVER= Every time; always.

WHEREVER= Everywhere; in any place.

PUT OUT= To make an effort.

TO BE IN THE MOOD= To feel like you want to do it.

BUT DO ACCEPT...= We use the auxiliary DO in an affirmative sentence to emphasize the main verb.

TELL OFF= To rebuke severely; to reprimand. To talk angrily at someone because they did (or want to do) something wrong.

DEVASTATINGLY= Extremely.

FANCY= If you fancy something, you feel like it, you want to have it.

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