Section of English Grammar

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Silly Job Interview (Monty Python)
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One of the greatest videos of Monty Python.

- You know I really enjoy interviewing applicants for this management training course. Come in. Ah. Come and sit down.
- Thank you.
- Would you mind just standing up again one moment? Take a seat.
- I'm sorry?
- Take a seat. Ah! Good morning.
- Good morning.
- Good morning.
- 'morning.
- Tell me, why did you say 'good morning' when you know perfectly well that it's afternoon?
- Well, well, you said 'good morning'. Ha, ha.
- Good afternoon.
- Ah, good afternoon.
- Oh dear. Good evening.
- ... Goodbye?
- Ha, ha. No. ... Aren't you going to ask me why I rang the bell?
- Er... why did you ring the bell?
- Why do you think I rang the bell? Five, four, three, two, one, zero!
- Well, I, I...
- Too late! Goodnight, ding-ding-ding-ding-ding. Goodnight. Ding-ding-ding-ding-ding-ding-ding.
- Uhm. Oh this is, is the interview for the management training course is it?
- Yes. Yes it is. Goodnight. Ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding.
- Oh. Oh dear, I don't think I'm doing very well.
- Why do you say that?
- Well I don't know.
- Do you say it because you didn't know?
- Well. I, I, I, I...
- Five, four, three, two, one, zero! Right!
- I'm sorry, I'm confused.
- Well, why do you think I did that then?
- Well, I don't know.
- Aren't you curious?
- Well, yes.
- Well, why didn't you ask me?
- Well...I...er...
- Name?
- What?
- Your name please, your name!
- Um, er David.
- David. Sure?
- Oh yes.
- David Sure.
- No, no Thomas.
- Thomas Sure?
- No, no, David Thomas.
- Goodnight. Ding-ding-ding-ding-ding- ding-ding-ding.
- Oh dear we're back to that again.
- Goodnight. Ding-ding-ding-ding-ding-ding-ding-ding-ding.
- I don't know what to do when you do that.
- Well do something. Goodnight. Ding-ding-ding-ding-ding, five, four, three, two, one . . . Good!
- Good?
- Very good - do it again. Very good' indeed, quite outstanding. Ah right. Ready now. Right, once more. Goodnight, ding-ding-ding-ding-ding-ding.
- What's going on? What's going on?
- You've got very good marks.
- Well I don't care, I want to know what's going on! I think you're deliberately trying to humiliate people, and I'm going straight out of here and I'm going to tell the police exactly what you do to people and I'm gonna make bloody sure that you never do it again. There, what do you think of that? What do you think of that?
- Very good marks.
- Oh, oh well, do I get the job?
- Er, well, I'm afraid not. I'm afraid all the vacancies were filled several weeks ago.

4:07            
 
 

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