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MasterChef final (parody)

A parody of the British reality show Masterchef, where a group of contestants are trained to be master chefs.

These contestants have battled against each other for weeks. This is their last challenge.

- This is it, guys. Treat us today. Spoil us. It's there for the taking.
- Last 10 minutes.
- Time's up. Well done.

First up, it's John.
- I love the colours, I love your presentation, I love your choice of plate. It looks professional. Visually great.
- Let's hope it is nice.
- Wow, that's great!
- Really lovely. Really lovely.

- Claire, this looks delicious. It's just making me salivate looking at it, which is what food at this level should do.
- Love it. The mashed potato for me is perfect. The sauce is rich and deep. It's quite simply delicious.
- The apple, although not unpleasant, is- is a big wash of sweet juice, which takes away all the butteriness and the other more subtle things, but that still would not stop me really enjoying that dish. Lovely, Claire, really lovely. It's beautiful.

David's main is a deconstructed chicken and mushroom pie on a roasted mushroom topped with puffed pastry.
- Wow. I've never seen a chicken pie like that, I must say. It just brings a smile to my face and- and I think, "hey, this guy's got imagination".
For dessert, David has made hot chocolate mouse.
- It's gonna have to be very very tasty for it to make up for its poor visual aspect. The chocolate mouse is rich, intense, chocolaty, as it should be.
- Visually, it lacks elegance and style but I think it tastes great. It tastes absolutely great.

- But there can be only one winner.
- We set out to find someone... who had something a little bit special.
(and I wait without you)
- Our professional Masterchef champion is...
(with or without you, with or without you)
-... Claire!
- Brilliant.
- Congratulations, well done.
- Brilliant.
(with or without you, with or without you. I- I...)

CONTESTANTS= A TV contest is a programme where people have to compete to win. The people competing in the programme are called "contestants".

BATTLED= Fought.

CHALLENGE= A difficult task you have to do to prove your abilities.

THIS IS IT= This is the end.

GUYS= (coll. esp. AmE) boys and girls; men and women.

TREAT US= Give us a treat. A treat is something you like a lot, like a nice present for you.

SPOIL= If you spoil somebody you treat them, you give them everything they want to make them happy.

IT'S THERE FOR THE TAKING= (referring to the prize for the winner) It's there, you only need to win and take it.

TIME'S UP= The time has finished, you have to stop.

WELL DONE= (an expression of appraisal) Good job!

FIRST UP= The first person to get up.

CHOICE= Election.

IT IS NICE= Most of the expressions the two members of the jury use to describe the dishes is a parody because they talk in a very professional manner but using very basic words and expressions, like the sort of things people with no idea of cooking would say: wow, nice, sup, brilliant, lovely, great, rich, delicious. A professional cook would use more elaborated adjectives to describe food. The way they speak is, nevertheless, very elegant and British.

SALIVATE= Produce saliva /səlvə/. Saliva is the liquid that your mouth produces when you are eating or when you are very hungry.

MASHED POTATO= see picture.

SAUCE= Liquid dressing or topping for food to add flavour to it. (also the liquid produced in the process of cooking something).

RICH= With a lot of flavour and nutrients, usually made of lots of different ingredients.

DEEP= Intense.

WASH= a wash of a liquid is an amount of that liquid that cleans or removes other things from there.

BUTTERINESS= The quality of being butter, the essence of butter (it's actually a made up word, doens't really exist).

SUBTLE= /sʌtəl/ Difficult to detect.

MAIN= "Main course", the most important dish in a meal (usually made up of starters, a main course and a dessert).

DECONSTRUCTED= Having no formal structure. This term is quite popular in "haute cuisine" simply because it makes a dish sound sophisticated.

MUSHROOM= See picture.

CHICKEN AND MUSHROOM PIE= A very popular pie that you can buy ready-made in any British supermarket or confectionary (see picture).

ROASTED= Baked in the oven.

TOPPED WITH X= With X on top.

PUFFED= Fluffy, a substance that contains a lot of air in its structure because it was swollen.

PASTRY= Dough or paste consisting primarily of flour, water, and shortening that is baked and often used as a crust for foods such as pies and tarts.

BRINGS A SMILE TO MY FACE= (a common expression) Makes me smile.

, I MUST SAY= You add this phrase to the end of a sentence to emphasize that you have that opinion.

GUY= (coll. esp. AmE) Boy; man.

CHOCOLATE MOUSE= /tʃɒklɪt mu:s/ (see picture)

GONNA= (coll.) Going to.

TASTY= Nice to eat.

MAKE UP FOR= Compensate.

POOR VISUAL ASPECT= If something has a poor visual aspect, it doesn't look nice.

CHOCOLATY= Similar to chocolate or having the quality of chocolate. Of course this word here is used as a funny adjective, because obviously chocolate is chocolaty and milk is milky, it's a redundant description.

LACKS= Hasn't got.

SET OUT= (past tense. set-set-set) To set out is to start a journey or a process.

BRILLIANT= (esp. BrE) Fantastic, wonderful, great. Young people sometimes simply say "brill".

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